Getting Settled

 

The moving-in process is one that grows exponentially. The small space leaves little room to hide from boxes and piles and paintings leaning against the wall waiting to be hung. And I've had to start my kitchen over from scratch which requires constant trips to the thrift store for the occasional find of a necessary tool in good shape. Of course I'm also adjusting to a much longer commute to work, an hour on the bus instead of a 20 minute walk. Aside from taking full advantage of the claw foot tub, I have had precious little down-time. 

The time I have spent painting is reassuring, I really like my new space: lots of light and the parking lot outside, rather than being a drab feature, lends an active energy. This is not a place to hole up and gaze at my own navel with existential questions, but a place to participate in life. 

At some point in my apartment search I realized that I wasn't looking for particular features as much as I was looking for good energy. Apartments that don't have any place for energy to linger were easy to dismiss because I felt so unsettled in them. Ones with stagnant energy were challenging because they felt really good to be in since I am sort of cat-like and gravitate to stagnant chi. But I always had some reservation that made me hesitate to apply. 

The one I chose felt totally neutral. My brain had a few reservations but the rest of me wanted to apply for it very badly. I was hoping for the decision to come obviously from my heart and I was afraid that my eagerness was just impatience. My heart however, was quiet so I had to go on my best guess. I had to decide if I wanted to hold out for the possibility of something better, or follow the energy in me that was trying to say, Now...this is a perfectly good place for you to live your life, you don't need to manifest some dream apartment on a shoe string budget. Well, who could resist such down-to-earth advice? Though, I think I am manifesting a dream apartment, it's just different than I had imagined, probably better, too. 

These photos are close-ups of a window shade I made out of my handmade papers. Individually they look kind of like paintings, mmm....