Jan 11, 2011

Becoming Soft

I've decided to stop thinking. I know that technically I am supposed to wait until I am enlightened to enjoy not thinking, but I can't wait that long. I'm tired of wrestling the same demons to the ground every week and feeling like I have accomplished something. Of course, I can't actually stop the thoughts from being there in my noggin. It's just that I am ignoring them them they way I ignore anyone who talks compulsively without saying anything genuine or ever listening to anyone else. "Uh huh," I might mutter while going about my business.

So far this is going well in the realm of painting. I can't say as much for my personal life, but you have to start somewhere. Painting will be my gateway drug into life outside the mind. It is a very soft place to be and I renamed my blog Soft in celebration.

The piece above is a self portrait I made in a drawing class several years ago. In case it is not obvious, the figure in the forest is a priest and he is weighing out my goodness and badness, the scale tipping grossly to the bad. He looks more like a small child not altogether pleased with his task which was not my intent but makes it a more accurate portrait. I found it when I was digging around in a paper drawer yesterday and found it a delightful reminder to let go of constant judgments, like a crow has landed irreverently on the rock pile and broken the scale.

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